Ready For My Close Up

  My parents came to visit recently so I went into “cleaning mode” for most of the lead-up week. It’s sort of like when you when you were old enough for your parents to leave you alone for a couple of days. Or even better, a whole week. So you promptly dirtied every dish in the house and went out and bought plastic cups because it seemed easier than getting your hands all pruney. Then, the day they were coming home you spent the entire morning doing all the dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning up all the Cheetos bags. The easy thing was that, you knew what everything should already look like. You just had to put it all back the way it was supposed to be. It’s different when your parents are coming to see your place for the first time.
  Now that you live on your own you have to show that you’re responsible. So cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen are a must. Don’t want to have any dirty dishes lying around. That’s not how you entertain guests! But you can’t just clean. It’s not that simple. So you do things like buy new sheets and maybe some fancy hand soap. You have to show that you are a grownup and can handle things on your own. That way, your parents don’t spend the entire flight home worrying if you should be living closer to home. Or at least if you should find a girlfriend who will make you pick up your dirty cereal bowls and put them in the sink.
  The easiest way to ensure that your parents leave with a good impression is to put your “parents hat” on. What would your parents do in this situation?
  Not sure if you need more artwork on the walls? What would your parents put on the wall?
  Is it weird that you don’t own any forks and eat everything with a spoon? Would your parents eat all their meals with just a spoon? (Your parents probably don’t subsist solely on microwavable bowls on Campbell’s soup and Easy Mac – so don’t tell them that you do this).
  In fact, the best thing to do might be to replicate your parent’s house completely. Why mess with a good thing, right? It might be hard to exactly replicate your parent’s home, but try to do the best you can; right down to the salt & peppershaker set from Niagara Falls. Though you might want to add some personal touches. So keep that unicorn poster on your door. It’ll help your parents realize just how grown up you are.