Honestly, Who Does That?

I have this theory that the only people who marry their high school sweethearts are professional athletes. Whenever I mention this, someone always knows an exception to the rule. Of course there are exceptions; there’s always an exception. How else do you explain the duckbill platypus? A mammal that lay eggs? That’s straight up bonkers. But yes, there’s always a friend from high school who found that special someone in the beginning of freshman year and later the two were married. And it’s not always only because she had his baby the fall before graduation.
In general though, nobody marries the person they were dating at 16. Take me for example: I dated three girls in high school and didn’t marry any of them. I’m still single. Which could explain why every night I cry myself to sleep while in the fetal position. If I were married I’d be doing all my crying on the couch. Who wants to sleep in the same bed as a man who cries every night of his adult life? Just please don’t do it in front of the children.
I’m not the same person I was when I was in high school, and I doubt any of those women are either. If someone’s the same now as when they were 18, I feel sorry for their mother. Because I know back then I was a complete tool. People change, and generally for the better. There’s no way I could have predicted that in my early twenties I’d find a flatware set that I’m desperately fond of. I don’t think I even knew what flatware was. There are too many changes that can take place at such a young age for two people who started dating sophomore year to be together seven or eight years later. For it to work, both have to grow as people in the exact same way or they have to stay near each other for that entire time. Again, there are exceptions. Unless one of them (usually the guy) is going to become a pro athlete, then it’s pretty much a sure thing they’ll get married.
Whenever an athlete's wife is talked about during a sports broadcast, it’s a safe bet that she met her husband (now famous sports star) in high school. Why? Because generally she knows she won’t be doing any better. While that might be an outrageous statement to make, I don’t think it’s much of an exaggeration. Yes, most people marry for love, but most people don’t also make $100 million in their lifetime. Obviously not every woman (or man) in this situation marries only for money. But would it be a stretch to say that a spouse might be willing to overlook a few marital issues knowing that all their needs and wants (and those of their children) will forever be taken care of? Politicians’ wives do it all the time.
In general, it’s a great arrangement for both parties. The spouse has all the money ever dreamed about; never having to work or worry about expenses. And the athlete spends a lot of his time on the road and can cheat on his wife whenever he feels like it. And can afford to keep it all hush hush. Is this a crass way of putting it? Absolutely. But I have no doubt that it happens all the time. Look at the relationship of “Jon and Kate”. Their divorce papers stated that they’ve been separated for the past two years. Why didn’t that information come out? Because there was a lot of money at stake. (Supposedly Jon and Kate were paid $50,000 for each episode of their show). It’s easy to brush things off and play nice when the Cristal is flowing.
As I keep saying, there’s always an exception. Not every women who married a pro baseball player married him because of his money. I’m sure many of these women love their husbands. But if most people believe that there’s not “just one” person out there for everyone, it makes it a bit easier to choose when the difference is a two bedroom apartment or five bedrooms in a gated community. “Love” can be as simple that.