Two Birds, One Fuel Efficient Stone

  What If I told you there was a simple way to put a dent in our greenhouse gas emissions and re-start the auto industry at the same time? You'd say, well, duh. We already know what we need to do: build more fuel efficient cars (hybrids, plug-ins, etc...). It's simple, and you're an idiot if you don't think anyone's thought of it yet. 

  Sure, but how do you sell those cars to people? When gas was approaching $4 a gallon, consumers were clamoring for fuel efficiency. But now that gas is hovering around $2, interest has waned. And other than telling people, "yes, this is what we need to do," no one's doing anything to excite the consumer. Until now. Pull your chairs up to the breakfast table, because I'm about to fry up some knowledge flapjacks for you to enjoy.

  Fact! 65% of American adults are overweight or obese. Seriously. This is a fat country. People do not like walking. It's a car culture, and we've got the bumper stickers to prove it.

  Fact! The average American has over $9,000 in credit card debt. We open credit cards to pay off other credit cards. How ridiculous is that? If it weren't for shopping, I think many of us wouldn't know how to spend our free time. Have an intelligent conversation with friends? Why do that when Old Navy's having a sale on cargo shorts?!

  Observation! While many economists feel this country is in the worst recession in seventy years, you wouldn't know it by being at the mall over the weekend. We still love our shopping.

  Opinion! Ever notice that in a large parking lot everyone tries to get a spot closest to the door? Drivers will pass up a spot ten feet back because there might be a spot just that much closer to the store. Even better is when a driver will wait for a person to get in their car and back out of the spot when there's a spot three spaces down wide open. Sure, I have to wait longer in my car, but I'd have to walk an extra twenty feet, so that extra distance equals out to the time I'm waiting for that woman to put her bags in the trunk, then load her daughter into her seat in the back, then for her to get in, start up her car, check her phone for messages, and let her car idle. It's absolutely worth the walking time I'll save when I leave the store.

  Solution! The first row of parking in front of every big box retailer will now be hybrid parking only. It's that simple. Keep the handicap parking spots where they are and make the rest of that row hybrid parking. Heck, you could even make some of the prime spots plug-in hybrid spaces with a charging station. You can "fill up" while you shop. In California, hybrids are allowed to drive in the High Occupancy Vehicle lanes. You don't think people would buy hybrids just so they'd have a guaranteed good parking spot the next time they go to the Pottery Barn? 

  No need to thank me. I'm here to satiate the masses.