I need to learn to shut up. It’s not because I’m a liar. I’m not good at lying, so I rarely do it. No, it’s that I don’t know when to stop talking.
When I first started my job a co-worker complimented me on my shirt and tie. And I responded, “Thanks…” and then caught myself because the next words that were coming out of my mouth were, “My mom bought it for me.” Now it’s not that my mom buys all my clothes. She doesn’t. It’s just that every year for Christmas I get at least one shirt/tie combo. And over the years my mom’s gotten better at picking them out. So instead of finishing my thought I again said, “…Yeah, thanks.” But it was one of those awkward pauses where she could tell I had meant to say something and didn’t.
In high school I would tell people that my mom bought all my clothes. It was funny to me, because at 15 whose mom isn’t buying their clothes for them. Sure, the kid might be picking out what he wants to wear, but he’s not paying for them. It’s not so funny in my late 20s.
Usually, I’m not fortunate enough to stop myself. I once told a woman that my mom buys all my underwear. This was our third date, and after that night, I never heard from her again. Wonder why? It’s just that every Christmas (it’s always Christmas) I wouldn’t ask for much and I would get underwear. Which is what I explained to her. Except instead of offering an explanation I should have just nodded in agreement when she said that women buy cute underwear because it’s cute and guys don’t really do that, do they?
So that I’m not put in that position again, I started buying my own underwear. Problem solved.
My mom has tried to say it’s ok if she buys some of my clothes; after all, she picks out all of my dad’s dress shirts and ties. Yeah, but that’s different. I think that most wives buy clothes for their husbands, figuring there’s no way he could dress himself. Sorry, Dad. I don’t think I should be embarrassed that I get clothes as presents. Heck, I bet that’s what most people get. Maybe I just need to think of better phrasing: “Well thank you. I got this sweater for my birthday. I’m capable of buying my own clothes if that’s what you were thinking.” It needs work, but it sounds better than what I was planning to say.
2 comments:
Well, I can see why your response would be thank you my mom got them for me. And how a woman would misunderstand.
Howie is eleven. I lay out his pajamas at nightand clothes for the morning. Clean out his ears and help him blow his nose. He is just about my height, has a couple of inches to go.
There isn't anything wrong with your mom getting you the shirt and tie for holidays. Its all in how you word it. I guess. I really need to prep myself for when my boys get to be in their twenties. And resist some sort of temptation to help them blow their nose. Have a good one Zach! Tiff Palmer
Zach,
I seem to remember a pention of yours to play bass on stage in your underwear...or did I make you do that?
But anyway, lose the underwear toatally. It give you more of an allure and next time you can say, "Thanks. My mom buys me underwear but I don't wear it. I just give it to those poor kids out there without a nice pair of clean (emphasize this part), oversized tighty-whities to wear upon their heads while they pretend to be masked vigilantes."
It would work for me!
heart,
dylan
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